The habit of dropping money in temple bhandar boxes and as dakshina to priests was ingrained in me till I did some rethinking, after going to a famous temple, never mind where, in our temple-studded India. There, well fed priests stood around and not one of them made eye contact……their eyes were fixed on the cloth purse that I clutched. Too many of them were at every corner with ash and kumkum on brass plates, seeking dakshina (for what, pray?) with greedy eyes. Displeasure was mouthed quite foully, when I did not oblige by opening that purse after the fifth or so time. I did not want to give in to that kind of extortion.

I had not had such an experience ever before so it made me think.

I wondered if God really needed my money. If those priests did, they had no business to intimidate worshippers into giving dakshina. Was I in turn, trying to cajole God into giving me what I want…? Or worse still, was I trying to bribe God…. human corruption seeping into places of worship? Who uses that money and even if there are running costs or hospitals, universities and so on being opened by famous and rich temples, how much of the flood of largesse ends up in private pockets? The media is full of cases of misuse and plain stealing from such holy places……proven or unproven.

I believe everybody is entitled to act according to his/her own conscience in any given situation. First off, I felt that money itself is more our creation than God’s. Next, I decided that God would be much happier if I gave my pittance to those that needed it more than He/She did.

So now I have no qualms about not taking that four or six rupees that I have every right to expect back as change from fruit sellers or autorickwalllas. All of them dig into pockets and tin money boxes, looking amazed when I shake my head, saying “keep it” and walk off, grinning to myself. I feel quite satisfied to give what I can, even if only a pittance, to the working poor who, more than anybody else, are struggling to keep their heads above the daily deluge of rising prices and living costs.

I am convinced that God is still quite happy and accepts my thoughts and prayers even if I don’t drop coins and notes in any temple bhandar boxes. I still drop some dakshina on the plate for the main priest, another person at his daily slog, but now it’s my turn not to make eye contact with any that try to bug me.