Whoaaaa, don’t get the wrong idea………I’m not in on some terror network that has the hijacking of airplanes in mind.

This is about a different kind that specializes in hijacking conversations. Unfortunately most of us meet such people quite often. They can clear a room faster than tear gas or pepper spray.

Okay, so we all have to die someday but who wants to be bored to death……..?  I know one such excruciatingly perfect specialist who claims to be friend and I don’t have the heart to drop her entirely because she is a very, very lonely soul.

This is why….

Her modus operandi is that she will latch onto any group at a get together or even in a park, having a good time talking happily back and forth about….well, anything under the sun.

Very enthusiastically and with all her 42 pearly whites showing, she wades into the unsuspecting, potential audience. For all of five seconds she listens and picks up the thread of the discussion……then interrupts blithely with a nasal voice that is like a scalpel cutting through flesh.

 “That’s right I fully agree. Let me share this with you….”

At this point, only those that have not met her before will turn blissfully ignorant and expectant eyes on the hijacker.

The rest will have suddenly remembered another appointment or desperately important matter that needs their immediate presence, spinning away fast enough to leave burn marks on the carpet, lawn, cement, tile or any other surface.

The hijacker launches into a moth-eaten, highly improbable anecdote with herself in the pumped up starring role. The many killingly deadly anticlimaxes and the main climax will roll out as gently as lumbering tanks in a war.

THE END will be an orgasmic finale on how the rest of the ineffectual and imbecile world has still not stopped thanking her for the miracle that she, on her ownsome-lonesome, worked to save the situation.

By then, the new bakras are scarred for life and have wised up, melting away and making good their escape without the help of commandos or air marshals. But said hijacker does not give up at all and will rove the social areas like a gaping mouthed shark that will die if it stops swimming or closes its mouth.

Politeness is one thing but one has to be a masochist to take that kind of assault on the ears after the first couple of times. I think that these pathetically tone deaf trumpet blowers are generally under achievers who want laurels anyway. And if nobody else is going to provide praise and prizes, what the heck, they will do the honors themselves.

Real achievers don’t need this. People will spontaneously appreciate and admire what is obvious to the whole world.

She used to call me before dropping by but these days, has taken to ambushing me (I really wonder why????)………..the doorbell rings and she’s inside my home in a flash.

Peering through the peep hole is not good enough. I have to get that camera thingy installed and even then, hide under the bed when I see it is her, from now on………………